There were three children admitted today. Two of those have very severe cases of kwashiorkor. Looking at them I am just not sure that they will live. Their bodies are in such bad shape. But I have hope in God that they will made it. This mama below lives in a village that is about a 4 hour walk from here. That is 4 hours if “pye ou bon” (your feet are good), your are normal and do not have to carry a child, or are sick yourself and cannot walk fast. The mama below had to start out yesterday morning to make it here last night before it got dark. It took her most of the day to travel down the paths of the mountain trail. She carried her daughter down and also made the trip with her husband and another child.
Her daughter, Ti fanm (little woman), is 1 year old and weighs 8 pounds. The mama herself is not well and very skinny. I started doing the intake information and asking questions about the child and history of the family. In the last 7 days she has had 1 plate of food for her and the baby. That plate of food was late yesterday when someone here in Cazale saw her and bought it for her and the baby. The baby still tries to breastfeed so she leaves it on the breast most of the time. It sucks but often does not find any milk. She has to walk 3 hours to the nearest water source to get water for her family. She has lost 3 children and has 3 that are living. She has no bathroom and goes in the weeds. Her house is made out of clay and rocks there are 10 people living there. Her leg is injured and she cannot walk normal. I asked her when the last time she had meat, eggs or milk. The look in her eyes was something I will not forget soon. Those things meat, milk and eggs were items she would treasure and be so thankful to have. Her hungry belly must crave them. She must want them so badly for her children. She must wonder why she is suffering so much. I admitted her daughter to the ICU this afternoon. I sent her home with money to eat and buy food. I thought about sending actual food with her, but then she would have had to carry the weight on her head up the mountain paths back home. I told her to return in 2 weeks. I wanted her to get her thing in order with the other children and make sure they are in a safe place with other family members that will care for them. I wanted her to be able to talk to her family and friends and let them know she would be gone for awhile. I wanted her to feel good and happy about staying with us. I wanted to have more room. I always need more room but never seem to have it. We are getting close to 90 in our care. Boundaries, boundaries, boundaires people tell me to set them, I want to have them, but……well it is just not that easy when this mama and her baby are starving to death. Well tonight as I sit her and cry I wish I would have kept her here…figured out something….moved people around, asked staff members to keep her for me.
Sometimes I do not know what choices are the best to make. I lay my head on my desk and pray for God to help us. I crank up my music (and repeat the same song over and over 😉 ) until it gets deep inside of my soul and I make the decision once again to give it all to Him and believe that He is the everlasting God.
I often sit and talk with my nannies about the kids and the days events. I tell them that we are out of room. We have no more beds. They tell me to set up cots and tell me there is always room. They always look at me and say Bondye Kapab (God is able). They look at me and tell me that God will not forget us and Cazale. We close our eyes together with the kids and think and imagine the big house that God is going to give us one day. Bondye Kapab.
Only Lori and Allison can tell you how many times this song was played today in the office. So thankful they love me 🙂 Please join us in prayer this evening for Tifanm and her family. Praying for room for her mama in 2 weeks and that Tifanm will heal and grow.
Your Great Name Lyrics
Performed by Natalie Grant
Lost are saved; find their way; at the sound of Your Great Name
All condemned; feel no shame; at the sound of Your Great Name
Every fear; has no place; at the sound of Your Great Name
The enemy; he has to leave; at the sound of Your Great Name
Jesus, worthy is the Lamb that was slain for us
Son of God and man you are high and lifted up; that all the world will praise Your Great Name
All the weak; find their strength; at the sound of Your Great Name
Hungry souls; receive grace; at the sound of Your Great Name
The fatherless; they find their rest; at the sound of Your Great Name
Sick are healed, and the dead are raised. At the sound of Your Great Name
Jesus, worthy is the Lamb; that was slain for us
Son of God and man; you are high and lifted up
that all the world will praise Your Great Name.
Your Great Name.
Redeemer, my Healer; Lord Almighty
My Savior; Defender; you are my King
Redeemer; my Healer; Lord Almighty
My Savior; Defender; you are my King
Jesus, the Name of Jesus, you are high and lifted up; that all the world will praise your Great Name.
Savior, Son of God and man; you are high and lifted up; all the world will praise Your Great Name. Your Great Name. Your Great Name.