Over the fourteen years that I’ve been practicing nursing here in Haiti, I’ve seen a ridiculous amount of gross, crazy, and sad things, but nothing tears my heart out like the children with really severe malnutrition. They bring me to question the reason for so much misery and suffering in the world.
They shake me to my core.
Children are suppose to play and laugh and have fun. They are suppose to represent all that is innocent and pure in the world. Their minds should hold carefree ideas and big dreams. Every boo-boo should get a kiss and hug. Love and nurturing will grow these children into healthy and functioning adults. That’s the way the world is suppose to work. It just is.
Unfortunately, we see hundreds of children that don’t have this privilege. Every day is a battle to live. Even a gentle hug might hurt them. Bedsores from neglect cause infections that kill them. Most can’t hold their heads up because they are just too weak. These kids haven’t done anything wrong and don’t deserve this pain. Why? I just don’t understand. And, you know what, I never will. I never, ever, ever will. I can’t philosophically categorize all this suffering and file it into a neat little box and put it away on the shelf of “life problems I’ve figured out.” It’s just not going to happen. I’m never going to be able to explain it to a short-term volunteer or blog inquirer because I have not (and never will) understand why there is so much misery in this world.
All that know is that we live in a fallen and broken world. There will always be pain and heartache here. I can’t make it go away, but I can use every waking second of every single day trying to point others to the One who can ease it. I can allow God to use my hands, my mind, and my life to lessen the misery of a fellow human being. I have that choice and that privilege of surrender of my body, spirit, and soul. We all do.
Nerline’s father, Enold, explained that she has been sick almost from the time that she has been born in May 2010. He has 3 living children that were born before her – 2 boys and 1 girl. His wife is pregnant again. Nerline has fought many infections, fevers, diarrhea, and more. In her short 2 year life, she has already suffered several episodes of kwashiorkor before. Nerline has never had much of an appetite. She has always been the weakest and most sickly out of all his children. He did the best that he could, but has never been able to get her to the point where he thought that she was healthy. There were a few people in his area that offered him vitamins and other medications, but nothing seemed to work. He spent his money trying to find a cure and instead it just made his spending money for food diminish. She became swollen with kwashiorkor to the point that her eyes were swollen shut for days upon days. He had already lost one child to kwashiorkor, so he decided to bring her here to the Cazale clinic. He carried her down from his mountain village to get a motorcycle down to the main road. He traveled from near Arcahaie to Cabaret on another motorcycle and then transferred to a third motorcycle to come back up another dirt road to get to us here in the village of Cazale.
She was a mess on that first day – high fever, in pain, hemoglobin of 3.8 (very anemic), diarrhea, dehydrated. This is usually the status of the type of children that we admit to the Rescue Center, but Nerline also had another problem – vitamin A deficiency. She has been lacking vitamin A in her diet for a very long time. Severe infections are also thought to deplete the vitamin A that the body has stored (it is a fat-soluble vitamin). The first signs of vitamin A deficiency is night blindness, then dry eyes. As the deficit continues to worsen, spots develop on the eyes. These turn into corneal ulcers (corneal xerosis) that can eventually rupture the eyeball. We’ve had children that have gotten to that point and it is a horrible thing. Nerline had severe ulcers that were on the verge of rupture. We dosed her with the vitamin A that her body so badly needed.
According to WHO,
We placed an NG tube to give her medika mamba and medications since she would not eat or drink anything. We started her on medications for infection. We placed drops in her eyes. We comforted her and touched her. We changed her when she was dirty. We wiped up her vomit. We washed layers of crud out of her hair. We started her on IV fluids. We cut her fingernails. We held her hand. We talked to her and asked her what we could do to make her more comfortable. We monitored her blood sugar levels. We did all that we knew to do to show her love.
After a few days, her swelling lessened in her eyes and the corneal ulcers were easier to inspect. She didn’t want to open her eyes. It was just too painful. We continued the medications in hopes of improvement. She was in so much pain from all that her body was going through. At times, she didn’t even respond when we touched her or talked to her, like she was in a semi-coma.
After about a week, I heard her singing. Singing? Yes, singing……even in the midst of all this pain. Singing the same word over and over and over again for most of the afternoon. Her voice was quiet, but she gave all the strength that she could to sing it. Jesus. Jesus. Jesus. Singing. Crying out. Begging. Praising. So many different emotions and tunes, but always the same word – Jesus. She is 2 years old. Her dad said that he never goes to church, but sometimes she would go with her mom. Her eyes and body are rotting and giving out and with every breath she is calling out His Name. The next day, she started rolling her body back and forth a bit and we figured out that she was dancing. After about 3 more days, she had enough energy to sit up for awhile. She clapped her hands and danced and raised her hands and began to sing louder. Her hands have socks taped on so that she didn’t pull out her NG tube and IV, yet she still clapped. This 2 year old understands praise more than most of us.
I don’t know where you are at in your life right now. It might be really bad – cancer, divorce, sin, rejection, pain, death of a loved one, deception, rape, abuse. You might not see a way out. You might be trying to figure out why this is happening to you. Though it’s important to reflect on this, don’t dwell on it. You’ll mostly likely not find an answer. Many things that are thrown at us in this life are not our fault or the fault of someone else. They just happen. Try to pull yourself out of the pit that you are in and think of this little girl, Nerline. Praise Him. Cry out to Him. Don’t give up. Ever.
Nerline still needs your prayers. She has a long battle in front of her. She has lost four pounds of fluid and now needs to start gaining weight from increase muscle and fat. Though the eye ulcers have lessened, she will most likely be blind. I ask that you pray for God to heal her and give her strength. Pray that God will touch her parents and give them hope and wisdom in managing their family. Consider donating towards the payroll for the ICU nannies. Many have given and we have $1170.69 designated towards this need. We really appreciate your generosity. We want you to know that these funds are going to help some very special children that deserve a chance a life, like Nerline.
Comments(18)
Joanne Cottrill says
June 25, 2012 at 8:18 amLori, This post made me cry. I have been praying for the ICU kids but now that I know Nerline’s story, I will pray for her by name. How is Marie Denise?
Jan Fox says
June 25, 2012 at 11:36 amLori I am so impressed with your words. You amaze all of us. I know your MOTHER is right there with you doing this wonderful work. You are in my daily prayers. I will head your words. Love, Jan
Heather Puckett says
June 25, 2012 at 2:31 pmAmazing little girl. Please, Jesus, heal her.
Myra says
June 25, 2012 at 6:41 pmGod bless this little girl and all of those who sacrifice to care for her and those like her. We DO live in paradise here in the US.
Vera Sytch says
June 26, 2012 at 3:07 pmWow… Most people around me (in the States) don’t even realize that kind of poverty and distress exist. Or it’s just so far away that they can’t quite grasp that it’s going on today somewhere not so far away. God bless you for the work you do!
Vera
R says
June 26, 2012 at 5:54 pmSent from Anns….. Oh, you have showed us something wonderful. My dear friend works with Hatian children in the D.R, so Hati is close to my heart.
Nerline’s story is one that I don’t want to forget. Thank you so much for passing it on.
~R
kelli says
June 27, 2012 at 8:18 amThis story rocks my world.
Totally undone here for the picture you have painted.
Praying for the children. And for you.
Knowing we have a God who does not turn away from suffering.
May He hold their hands. And yours. Yes, all of us.
For truly, He is our only Hope.
Marie Mikes says
June 27, 2012 at 11:46 amWe surely pray for Nerline. It is such an amazing story of how God’s spirit works. Imagine any other healthy 2 yr. old Singing about Jesus.
kris says
June 27, 2012 at 2:44 pmWhat a precious girl. What a saviour we have, his name on her lips, spilling out of her as she suffers… This post leaves me without words really, but with much to pray for, with groans and sighs. The spirit knows, and He intercedes–praying for you all, for those who bless her with care, for God to have mercy….
janice cartwright says
June 27, 2012 at 4:17 pmI don’t know either. Some we can piece together from scripture. The earth was good, all creation, mankind, all pronounced good by a good God. Evil waited to strike, already present in the garden. But how could pride, rebellion enter a place like Heaven with a King like our God, and war? And come to planet “Our World on a zipline?” We see the consequence, but not the how or why. The solution, in Christ, “You shall overcome evil with good. Two or more. In My name. Maybe your prayer and my prayer and her prayer and his prayer all stitched together with belief, for when did the church quit believing in miracles, when was Christ divided and praises go to men more than God? One thing we do know: Nerline doesn’t need to have academics down. In her spirit SHE knows the name of Jesus and praises, the love being poured out all over her from loving hands and [that] evil is overcome by good.
Connie Robertson says
June 27, 2012 at 7:51 pmThis story……thank you
My husband who is firm about donating only to registered Canadian charities
has agreed to donate to your ministry. You are special! A cheque is on its way.
Blessings from Ontario Canada
Dedrea says
June 28, 2012 at 6:48 amWill be praying continually for this precious girl and others like her!! LordJesus, you ARE the GREAT Physician and I cry out to you to heal this precious child! Her heart is full of love for you and I pray that she leads a life that will glorify you. Help me to realize the goodness you have given me and don’t let me become so callus to the real needs of the world!
Judith Findley says
June 29, 2012 at 10:42 amThank you Jesus, for showing us through this little child, how to live. Please continue to bless her and to heal her as she has a powerful message for us all!
Please bless all who care for these children, protect them and give them strength and hope. You, Lord, are our only hope!
Shauna Schenke says
June 29, 2012 at 9:11 pmShared this story with my girls (ages 4 and 6) — we added this precious other little child to our prayers begging Jesus for health and complete healing. It is in His hands, but we continue to lift up Nerline. My girls wanted to send her some stuffed animals or toys. Wishing we had a direct way to do so… We are so blessed here in the U.S. I was angry that my automatic garage door has been broken for so long — until I read this and gained perspective. Soldiering on in prayer for Nerline and others like her…
Jamie Garcia says
July 1, 2012 at 4:22 pmSin is the answer.
Jesus is the cure.
We are so blessed to be able to give to your ministry, I pray Nerline’s family turns to Jesus.
Prayers,
Jamie
Lori Harris says
July 1, 2012 at 9:08 pmthere are no words tonight, only tear filled eyes and a thought of “I need to do more.” I baptized my 2 eldest daughters today-Ican’t imagine life like this. What if my only words were “Jesus”?
Sarah Frye Gingrich says
July 2, 2012 at 1:18 pmI told my children (8,6, and 4 years of age). They asked “Mommy, why do these things happen?” I replied, “I don’t know, but we can always know a good answer comes at the end of the question: What can I do to help?” Thanks for sharing; the children and I will be prayerfully dreaming about how we can gather money to help.
May God’s peace and strength surround you, and may you be full of hope. No love is wasted.
Kristie says
July 3, 2012 at 10:17 pmLori,
A beautiful post that only God can make beauty of from the true suffering of precious Nerline. I wonder if I saw her that day of our visit. And I read these posts feeling horrible for the intrusion we were. One thing for certain… This is a broken, fallen world. I see much less suffering in the cushy USofA (physical and health) but the worst deprivation is separation from Christ. Nerline shows how near God is and how much He loves—that Jesus would be her joy when nothing else feels good. Thank you for persevering to love and serve others. May God be as near to you, and to us all.
Love ,
Kristie F.